I was driving into work yesterday morning and I had this overwhelming sense of anxiety and stress come over me. I prayed almost the entire way to work and it just wasn't going away.
My question becomes, "Why am I so stressed?" Is it the worry of money (or lack thereof)? It is worrying about Marty's health? or is it a lack of trust in God? I don't know why I just can't trust God for the things that seem so big. Bottom line, I think that is the real issue. It is so easy to say "oh yes, I trust God for everything in my life" when things are going great, but when your back is up against a wall and you are facing major trials in your life, it's hard to see relief. It's hard to then say, "yes, I still trust God for everything in my life". It's that problem "self" that makes us want to try to fix it all.
I've always had an issue with that. Being a "fixer". Thinking that it's my job to fix everything for everybody. Some things you just can't fix. YOU can't fix them, but God can. I think the biggest issue is that we have trouble waiting to see what God has in store. Waiting on His timing and His plan. We always think our plan is so much better because we think it should be right now!
For now, I'm just going to take a deep breath, step back, relax and know that God is the one in control. While stress is most definitely NOT my friend.......God certainly is. And He's got my back.
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